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How to Write a Killer Scholarship
Personal Statement: Definitive Guide
With Examples
Whether you’re coming straight out of high school, are a transfer student, or
an adult student returning to college after a long absence, one of the first
things you’ll want to do when preparing for college is to look for scholarships.
At all levels, college is expensive. Winning scholarships that cut down on costs
is a priority for most of us, and writing an effective scholarship personal
statement can help you do that.
There are many important parts of the process when it comes to scholarship
applications. Locating the scholarships and gathering all the relevant
information are key components, but your scholarship personal statement is
arguablythe most important part of a scholarship application.
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Writing a powerful and memorable personal statement can really make your
application stand out among the hundreds of other submissions.
A personal statement is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. It’s a
statement, paragraph, or essay about yourself. It should tell who you are,
where you came from, what your dreams, goals, and aspirations are, and more.
It shouldfocus on your strengthsand tell scholarship committees why you
deserve their money.
Sometimes, personal statements can be written in response to an open-ended
question such as, “Tell us about yourself.” More often, though, scholarship
applications have a very specific prompt that you’re supposed to follow when
writing your personal statement.
A promptis something that many colleges or other types of scholarship
committees will give you to help guide your writing. Some essays won’t have a
prompt. We’ll discuss those later on in the article. For now, let’s focus on the
applications that provide you with prompts.
When given a prompt, it’s important that you stick to and answer it fully. You
don’t want to trail off onto some other tangent or write your statement how
you want to write it simply because it sounds better or because you already
have a standard scholarship personal statement you like to use. Answer the
prompt that is given, and answer it honestly and completely.
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This is probably the most commonly asked prompt for any scholarship
personal statement. Most organizations that give scholarships know why you
want the scholarship. What they don’t know is why exactly they should give it
to you. Your answer to this prompt should be one that fully answers the
question by telling the scholarship committee not only why you deserve the
money but also why you need it at all.
Why you deserve something and why you need it are two totally different
questions. This prompt, though, requires you to answer both. The reasons you
need the scholarship money could involve a number of factors, including:
Knowing about some common prompts beforehand will help prepare you for
what you may be asked and will keep you from being blindsided. Knowing
some common prompts early on can also help you be a little more prepared
about what to write.
BothCollegeRaptorandFastwebare great resources for finding common
scholarship prompts.
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Financial hardship in your family
Coming from a single-parent or foster parent home
Older siblings already at college
Parent(s) is disabled, out of work or incarcerated
Coming from a low-income family, neighborhood or Title I school
Receiving government assistance (housing, food stamps, etc.)
Being a ward of the state with no support system
All of these reasons – and more – are why you might need the money. Tell the
committee that in your scholarship personal statement.
Telling them these things should not be seen as “feeling sorry for yourself” or
begging for help. These are all legitimate reasons you could potentially need
help paying for college. As long as you’re being honest, these are definitely
things that should be included in your personal statement.
Telling the committee why you deserve the scholarship is a little different.
While all those reasons are why you need the money, they don’t explain why
you deserve it. This is the part of the scholarship personal statement where you
sell the committee on YOU.
Tell them about all the great things you’ve done. If you were an honor roll
student, a member of the BETA Club or National Honor Society, or a National
Merit Scholar, put that in your statement.
Other reasons you could cite as to why you deserve a scholarship include:
Exceptional athletic ability or talent
Many hours of documented community service
Having served your country honorably in the military
Impressive personal stories of overcoming adversity
Exceptional ACT/SAT scores
A schedule that shows an impressive balance of grades, sports, community service,
etc.
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Just as listing the reasons you need the scholarship isn’t begging, listing these
reasons for deserving the scholarship isn’t bragging. There are hundreds,
possibly even thousands, of people trying to get the same scholarships you’re
trying to get. You need to stand out above the crowd.
Although this prompt is worded quite differently from the first prompt, in
essence, you can answer them both in a similar way. All of those reasons you
might have for needing the money are also challenges you’ve had to overcome
to succeed in life.
Other possible challenges could include the loss of parents, a physical or
mental disability you’ve had to learn to cope with throughout your life, or a
dangerous, scary, or upsetting life event you’ve lived through in your past.
For this type of prompt, you’ll want to start with the challenge you faced. Be as
honest and descriptive as possible about what it was. Then be equally honest
and descriptive about the steps you took to overcome it. If, after overcoming
the challenge, you received some kind of recognition or award, make sure you
mention that as well.
This is another very popular question that’s asked on scholarship applications.
A scholarship committee wants to know that you have actual, obtainable goals
for your education and your future before they give you money to use for
college.
If you can’t effectively explain why college – and education in general – is
important to your future goals, most committees won’t want to take a chance
on you.
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You can discuss how hard the generations that came before you fought for you
to be able to attend college and how you want to honor that.
You can also take a wholly personal approach to answering this question.
Mention any relevant struggles you’ve been through, and don’t be afraid to
talk about your family. Did they go to college?
If not, discuss what an honor it’ll be to be the first in your family to graduate
from college. Those types of things are all relevant reasons you might want to
attend college.
There are different ways to approach this particular prompt. If you fit into a
category of people who have notoriously been excluded from higher
education in the past, such as African Americans, women, or other minority
groups, talking about that can help your case.
No matter which way you decide to go with your answer to this question, don’t
forget to talk about your goals and how college is the only way for you to
achieve them in your scholarship personal statement.
Be specific. Talk about your intended major and how that major and the classes
you’ll take for it will help you become what you want to become. If you’re
applying for a college-specific scholarship, talk about why you want to go to
that specific college.
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Sometimes, no matter how hard you study and prep in order to write a good
essay, a scholarship committee comes up with a personal statement essay
prompt that seems like it’s entirely out of left field. These types of prompts can
be anything.
For example, theUniversity of North Carolina at Chapel Hillasks students
seeking scholarships, “What do you hope to find over the rainbow?”Lehigh
Universitywants to know, “What’s your favorite riddle? And why?”
Yaleasks its prospective students how they would spend a free weekend if
given one. There really isn’t a way to prepare for these types of prompts, but
knowing they exist and that you might run across one is a good start.
For many people, these are the best kinds of prompts to receive. They give you
a chance to let your imagination run wild, and they’re a nice change from the
same old “Why do you deserve this scholarship?” type of questions. So if you
do happen to run across one of these, don’t immediately dismiss it. These
types of prompts give you a chance to have a little fun.
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If you’re asked to write a personal statement but aren’t really given a prompt,
simply tell the college a mixture of all those things listed above. Talk about
your achievements, accomplishments, and instances of overcoming obstacles.
Talk about your history, and tell them why you need the scholarship and why
you deserve it.
There are also a few otherDo’s and Don’tsto remember. Do be specific, but
don’t get too complicated. Keep things simple and light, while also being
thorough. Your personal statement is like a mini autobiography.
You want to highlight all the key points while putting a heavy emphasis on
your strengths. You can mention a weakness, especially if you’ve learned to
overcome that weakness, but don’t focus too much attention there.
Arrange your essay in a logical order that makes sense and flows well. Also, try
to keep to one or two central themes throughout the entirety of the statement.
Clear, concise personal statements are easily read and extremely memorable.
Don’t be afraid to tell a story, though.
You never want to lie or exaggerate in your personal statement, but you should
make it as interesting and as entertaining as possible while sticking to the
facts.
Be very clear and precise about your goals and dreams. Don’t add in a lot of
hypotheticals, maybes, or uncertainties. Scholarship committees want to know
that you have a solid goal for your future.
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They don’t want to give money to someone who might want to be an engineer
and thinks botany is great but also really loves the idea of cosmetology and is
just going to “stay undeclared until I figure it all out.” That’s an extreme
example of course, but you get the idea.
Don’t add in a lot of unnecessarily long words. Your personal statement should
read like an actual story of your life, not a poorly written thesaurus. Trust us on
this.
Scholarship committees will be much more impressed if you write an honest,
well-organized, and coherent essay about yourself than they will if you find a
way to use the words “platitudinous,” “audacity” and “impecunious” in your
personal statement.
Also, avoid cliches and extremely long and wordy sentences.
The first thing you want to do when writing your scholarship personal
statement is to set the formatting up correctly. Some scholarship applications
will provide you with specific formatting requirements.
If not, the standard formatting requirements of a scholarship essay or personal
statement are usually as follows:
One-inch margins on all sides
Double-spaced
No additional line spaces between paragraphs
Typed in Times New Roman
Typed with 12-point font
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Specific guidelines given in the scholarship instructions always supersede these
formatting guidelines. You should also utilize this awesomespellcheck and
online grammar check tool, or use any other that works for you.
Be sure to use proper grammar and punctuation. If these aren’t your strong
points, ask a teacher, mentor, or friend to look over your essay for any errors.
After you’ve gotten the formatting correct, the next thing you want to do is put
together your outline. This can be done on paper, on the computer, or just
inside your head, but it does need to be done. You need at least a loose
outline to make sure your essay flows smoothly and makes sense as written.
While the exact structure of your essay will depend largely on your own writing
style and the essay prompt, here’s the general structure for most essays.
Your introduction should be no more than two paragraphs long, and you want
to catch the reader with a very interesting and engaging first sentence. You
should also outline the key points you’re going to be making in the remainder
of your essay. If you were writing an English paper, this would be your thesis.
You should always have at least two body paragraphs, preferably three.
Remember, long paragraphs of text running together can be hard for readers
to wade through and absorb, so try to keep your paragraphs to no more than
five sentences if possible.
If you change topics, such as moving from talking about your family into
talking about your strengths, you should also change paragraphs.
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Your body paragraphs are where you really sell yourself as a great student with
a lot of potential to the scholarship committee. Remember, be specific but
simple.
Don’t get bogged down in big, thesaurus-like words, and avoid cliches. Just be
honest about your life experiences, your accomplishments, and your future
goals.
In this last paragraph, you’ll want to sum up everything. This is also the
paragraph where you talk about how much being awarded this particular
scholarship would benefit you and what you would do with the money that will
help you achieve your goals.
It’s also nice to thank the scholarship committee for taking the time to read
through your application and consider you for the scholarship.
Below you’ll find some examples of actual scholarship essays that were written
by actual college students seeking scholarships. Some are examples of what to
do, while others are examples of what not to do.
If you’re stuck and don’t know where to begin, hopefully, these will give you a
little inspiration.
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“The day was May 28, 2014. My doctor told my parents that I would need Spinal
Fusion Surgery with rods and screws, and it had to happen quickly. Before surgery,
the doctor suggested strength training for the muscles in my back so that I’d recover
faster. I immediately went to the local gym and began working with a personal
trainer, Justin. I learned so much from him including how the body works and how
surgery takes time to heal. After surgery, I knew that I wanted to use my experience
to help others, just like Justin helped me.”
– Read the resthere.
This is an excellent example of an introductory paragraph for a scholarship
personal statement. With the author’s first two sentences, I was hooked. This
student knows how to immediately capture the reader’s attention and pull him
into his story.
He’s relating a true story in response to a prompt asking him about his after-
college plans, but he’s doing it in such a way that it’s instantly interesting,
engaging, and makes us want to read more.
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The student also has a great transition sentence. Although we only provided a
portion of the essay that stops just before he tells us exactly what his goals are,
it’s obvious by the last displayed sentence that that’s exactly what he’s about
to do.
He’s about to tell us his plans for his future, after already telling us why he
chose those plans.
In just a few short sentences, this student catches our attention, tells us about
a horrible thing that happened to him that he had to overcome, explains how
that situation shaped what he wants to do with his future, and transitions into
telling us his goals.
This is a masterfully crafted introductory paragraph.
“Unlike other teenagers, I’m not concerned about money, or partying, or what
others think of me. Unlike other eighteen-year-olds, I think about my future and
haven’t become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life
changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon,
and yet there were those in the world who didn’t have enough food to eat or place to
live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was
compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.”
– Read the resthere.
In contrast to example one, this sample section is an example of what not to
do when writing your personal statement. It starts off badly and just keeps
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ongoing.
The first couple of sentences of this student’s essay don’t paint her in a great
light because of how they’re written. It’s fine to tell the scholarship committee
that you aren’t a partier and that you care about your future, but it’s not okay
to do it while sitting in judgment of other people.
The very first words of this essay are “Unlike other teenagers.” This
automatically sets the writer apart, which would be fine if she were going on to
say something positive about “other teenagers.”
For instance, if she were to say that she didn’t grow up getting to socialize and
spend time with friends because she was homeschooled her whole life or that
she didn’t learn about the advantages of technology because she grew up in a
rural community, her opening words would’ve been fine.
Instead, she immediately jumps into saying harsh, degrading things about
“other teenagers.” She lumps all teenagers into a stereotypical group of
irresponsible partiers who care only about their appearances and material
things.
Casting other people in a bad light is never a great way to let your light shine
in any arena, but this is especially true when trying to craft a strong college
personal essay.
The transition to her revolutionary life moment didn’t make a lot of sense
either. She says her “whole outlook on life changed” after realizing there were
poor people in the world. This is off-putting for two reasons.
The first is that most people, including children, know there are poor people in
the world. It isn’t really a secret and doesn’t usually come as a life-changing
shock.
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Secondly, the way her essay is written, she says she never did those bad things
that other teens did. Then she says her whole life changed when she realized
there were poor people in the world.
As written, this makes it sound like she changed and started doing these things
after her revelation, which is certainly not what she meant at all, but because of
the chronology of her essay, that’s how it sounds.
“And, that strength was something that came not only from knowing how to cook
my own food, lug armfuls of wood three or four times a day, and make my own safe
and cozy place in the world, no matter where. It came from an inner sense of seeing
things as they are. Life isn’t just out of a magazine with the best appliances and the
nicest furniture. There are other things in life, like dirty oors, and relationships
that don’t always work, and meals that have to be made. But, that’s not all bad.”
– Read the resthere.
This is another example of an essay Don’t. The whole essay, which isn’t listed
here, isn’t bad as a whole, but it also isn’t clear and precise. The sentences are
long and wordy, and he uses conjunctions, like “and” and “but,” to start
sentences.
Grammatically, that isn’t the best way to write. This is an example of an essay
that could have been quite good if only he’d spent some time editing it,
proofreading it, and perhaps handing it over to someone else to look over it
before he submitted it.
Never underestimate the power of revision and constructive criticism when
writing your own scholarship essay.
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“Through the successes of my eorts, I also realized that poverty was just a societal
limitation. I was low-income, not poor. I was still ourishing in school, leading
faith-based activities, and taking an active role in community service. My low-
income status was not a barrier but a launching pad to motivate and propel my
success.
[…]
Success is triumphing over hardships — willing yourself over anything and
everything to achieve the best for yourself and your family. With this scholarship, I
will use it to continue focusing on my studies in math and engineering, instead of
worrying about making money and sending more back home. It will be an
investment into myself for my family.”
– Read the rest here.
These are two paragraphs from the same essay, both excellently written. This
student came from a very poor background and had to begin making money
to help out his family at a very early age.
In this essay, he does a great job of discussing the hardships in his past in an
honest, straightforward way that allows the reader to admire him rather than
pity him.
The way he spends a brief amount of time talking about his hardships and then
moving swiftly into how those hardships motivated him to want more from life
is very well-done.
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His conclusion paragraph is also spot-on. He acknowledges that the only way
to overcome hardship is “willing yourself” to achieve. This shows that he has a
willingness to work hard and experience to back it up.
He then goes on to tell how he’ll use the scholarship money if he receives it.
He says that he’ll “invest into [him]self” and take this opportunity to work hard,
even if it means he has to suffer financially for a few years, in order to achieve
what he needs to achieve to ensure future financial success for both himself
and his family.
This shows him to be a hard worker, someone caring and empathetic enough
to put family first, and intelligent and enterprising.
These are all great things colleges want from prospective students, and he
showcases these traits in himself without being overt or in-your-face about it.
“To be able to hold onto your money you have to know how to manage it. Money
management is a complicated process. As teenagers, we often have no idea how to
manage money and we end up wasting a lot of it. But in a bad economy, most of us
have had a crash course in what happens when you don’t manage your money
properly. We have had to delve into a world foreign and unfamiliar to us and solve
our own money problems. The most successful of us have managed to still have some
semblance of a social life without going over our small budgets. The keys to doing
this successfully are actually quite simple.”
– Read the rest here.
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The prompt for this particular essay was about managing money. In terms of
staying on topic and having a good opening sentence, this writer did a really
nice job.
The writer also makes the article very relatable because being a teenager and
not knowing how to manage money is something most of us can remember
quite easily.
In addition to being relatable, the first paragraph also holds our interest
because it is easily read, not packed full of synonyms from the thesaurus, or
written loftily.
The writer also does a great job with his “thesis” sentence. The last sentence of
the paragraph is simple and straight to the point.
It lets us know what’s coming next; he’s about to list the keys to managing
money successfully. This is a very well-organized introductory paragraph.
Where the writer falls short, though, is with his grammar. There are obvious
run-on sentences and missing commas in that first paragraph. He also starts a
sentence with a conjunction, which isn’t great as a general rule. The bad
grammar and poor editing/proofreading take away from his entire paragraph,
which otherwise would have been really good.
We’ve said it once, and we’re saying it again: Don’t skip
theproofreading/editing stage (fyi, we have great packages here for this). If that
x
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isn’t something you’re good at doing, ask a teacher, mentor, friend, or loved
one.
Grammar is important. You can have the best idea in the world, and bad
grammar will keep people from hearing it because they’ll be too distracted by
the errors.
When proofreading or editing for grammar, here arethe most common
questionsto ask yourself:
Did you write in complete sentences? (No fragments, run-ons or comma splices)
Did you run the paper through spellcheck and grammar check?
Is all of your punctuation correct?
Is it clear to whom or what your pronouns are referring?
Are there anymisplaced or dangling modifiersin your essay?
Did you write in anactive voice?
Are you being repetitive?
Did you use the right word betweencommonly confused words?
Did you use proper subject/verb and noun/pronoun agreement throughout?
Does your essay make logical, organized sense?
Before submitting your essay, edit through it using these questions as a guide.
The importance of writing a great, moving and memorable scholarship
personal statement cannot be overstated. Scholarship applications are uniform
for all students.
Scholarship committee members are forced to read through the same types of
information for all the students who apply. The one place you’re able to stand
out and be creative is in your personal essay. That’s why it’s so important that
you make it count.
A strong personal scholarship essay can be the tipping point between no
money and lots and lots of money, so plan for it. Make time to do it right and
edit it properly.
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Consider it the most important part of your application process, and set aside
the appropriate amount of time for drafting it, writing it, and editing it before
the submission due date.
Finally, never be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s an educator, parent,
spouse, or friend, there is someone out there who wants to see you succeed.
That person will be happy to help you craft the best possible scholarship
personal statement.